The art of forgiveness

Forgiveness is that elusive feeling that always has us believing we've conquered it, while in fact, we are ensnared in its innermost trap. "Forgive as you have been forgiven" is often quoted and recited, but many believers never truly put it into practice or even actively pursue mastery of this elusive yet compulsory subject.

Forgiveness is a prerequisite for being forgiven. Now that you have been freely forgiven, you are required yes, commanded to pass on the torch of forgiveness and mercy.

As with any flame, if not passed on, it has the ability to consume its recipient. Think about the flame of passion and what happens when someone doesn't have a person to receive it or pour into; it can lead to sins such as masturbation, pornography, and even murder. So too it is with the flame of forgiveness: when not passed on, it turns to unforgiveness and bitterness, which can rot the bones and set you aflame with all kinds of inflammations. Unforgiveness has shut the door of heaven, leading to eternity in hell for many lifelong believers.

Humans often have many reasons and claims for not forgiving, some of which may be valid. For a moment, let's look at Jesus and how He suffered. What's even sadder is that He was innocent, guiltless, and had never done anyone any wrong. Yet He forgave the very people who did terrible things to Him, stripping us of every reason to be unforgiving.

Compared to what Christ suffered, what is your reason for being unforgiving?

Once we begin to compare our reasons for holding on to grudges and being unforgiving with the giant offense that occurred on the cross, we see how Jesus was treated by His family—His mother, father (Joseph), and brothers.

No one in Jesus's family took His side or believed Him. In fact, His brothers wanted Him to return to Judea, knowing that the people there wanted to kill Him. Their true intentions and reasons we will never know, but Jesus didn't go, perhaps because He knew their intentions. It's not until after His death that His family believed Him and in Him.

Jesus is familiar with unfair family dynamics. How else could a mother and father go three days without noticing that their 12-year-old son was not with them? Could it be that Jesus grew up with the awareness that Joseph was not his real father? Is that why He said, "Did you not know I must be about my Father's business"? Could it have been a subtle dig at them, suggesting that He knew He was not their real son because they treated Him like it? We can only imagine. The reality is that they traveled three days without noticing that their 12-year-old son was missing. This story reminds me of little David, the forgotten shepherd boy in the field. Is this one of the reasons why the Bible calls David a man after God's own heart?

Here is what we do know: the traveling party went three days before they noticed that the little shepherd boy was not with them.

His brothers tried to lure Him to a town where people intended to kill Him.

His mother also believed that He was crazy, even though she knew that He was the Savior. I imagine she may have had her own idea of how this calling would manifest, but it doesn't take away from the fact that the only person who knew of His miraculous conception was not believing in Him or supporting Him.

Christ died on the cross for Mary, His brothers, and His earthly father, Joseph. Jesus was a man acquainted with pain, rejection, and sorrow.

None of His family offered to carry the cross for Him; a stranger was forced to do it. You, being evil, I believe, would do that for your brother.

His father Joseph did not rush to fight or even offer to take His place, and I, being evil, would do that for my kids.

Not even His disciples came to His defense; instead, they scattered, and one denied Him after another had betrayed Him. In fact, some went back to fishing after His death.

So, what is the art of forgiveness? How do you forgive?

First of all, let's get this idea out of the way: forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a decision that doesn't come with goosebumps.

You won't feel like forgiving, but you must decide to do so every day until the day Christ calls you back home.

When someone offends or hurts you, take them up as a prayer point for forgiveness and mercy.

• Pray for God to forgive them for what they did to you.

• Pray for God to have mercy on them.

• Pray for God to help you forgive them.

• Pray for God to help you see them the way He sees them.

• Pray for God to bless them abundantly; ask Him to pour every good blessing upon them, even the famous open doors that no man can close. Pray that over them and mean it!

• Pray for the best of the best for them.

Pray for them every time the thought of what they did to you comes to mind. Bless them, bless them.

The best weapon to wield against those who caused you pain and trauma is to bless them genuinely. It will hurt at first, but the more you do it, the more you will feel at ease, and finally, you will see them clearly as children of God under the yoke of Satan (this takes time).

When you bless your enemies and do good to those who curse you and hurt you, it's like pouring hot coals down their backs.

And pray for God to heal you from what they may have done to you. Often, the root of our ongoing trauma and being stuck is unforgiveness or the wait for for them to give you a reason to forgive.

The reason is Christ. The people who hurt you cannot heal you. They are not responsible for your healing. Only Christ can heal you, and the reason for letting go of the offense should always be Christ and not them.

I have not forgiven you because you've earned it; I forgive you because Christ forgave me. I forgive because not forgiving will cost me. You stole my peace, joy, and happiness here on earth; I can't let you steal my eternity too.

We fight back with forgiveness. The trap is meant to ensnare us to eternal death. Choose life through Christ. Forgive.

Everything you've been through has been designed to separate you from God,every offense, every hurt, every trauma, every rejection, every inappropriate touch, every unwanted affection. Yes, even what they did to you as a baby, what happened to you at that party, how they stole your trust by coming into your bedroom with innocent princess/prince walls, how they stole your innocence, and how no one believed you. Even how you felt you couldn't tell anyone (trust stolen, and now you struggle to trust God) , the secrecy all of it meant to ensnare you to eternal death. THE ENEMY HAS DONE THIS.

Forgive.

 ^"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" John 3;16